Why Hillary is the Perfect Opponent for Trump's Campaign of Deplorability

Throughout this election cycle, as I watched the group of yahoos from the Republican party running for president, I hoped for a strong Democratic candidate. With Republicans pinning their hopes on people like Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Rand Paul, it seemed like 2016 would be a cake walk for the Democrats if they could find a great candidate.And now that Donald Trump is the nominee, it seems to me that Democrats should get at least 60% of the vote. Polls showing Trump trailing by fewer than double-digit points seem unbelievable to me. How is Trump and his lamebrain ideas, repulsive personality, moral bankruptcy, and generally abominable human existence even still in this race?He should be getting support approximately equal to Alan Keyes circa 2004.Yet somehow forty-something percent of Americans still think that he’s a good choice for president.Yikes.How does something like this happen? Why aren’t Democrats beating the snot out of this guy?Perhaps Donald Trump is doing so well because of his opponent. Not necessarily because of her political shortcomings, but simply because of her existence.Much has been made of Hillary Clinton’s comment that half of Trump’s supporters fall into a “basket of delporables.” She admits—rightly so—that she was wrong to say half of his supporters fall into that basket. It’s not that many. I suspect well below half, or even a quarter.But it is a considerable number.And while these deplorables have rallied around Trump, they’ve just as fervently rallied against Clinton.There are reasons to hesitate in supporting Hillary Clinton for president. She seems too close to Wall Street. Too hawkish. Too secretive. I understand why someone would have reservations about her for those reasons.However, many Trump supporters, most of whom probably belong in that basket of deplorables, will direct toward Hillary, their basic, inherent anger at the idea of a woman being in power. And in Trump they’ve found someone who not only won’t discourage their vile rhetoric and hatred, but will feed into it, helping it build to a frenzy that he hopes will carry him to the White House.This attitude toward Clinton has always existed. In 2008, a supporter asked Senator John McCain at one of his campaign events, “How do we beat the bitch?” Instead of objecting to the tone of the question, Senator McCain replied that it was an “excellent question.”But since—like most human beings—Senator McCain has a sense of decency, he didn’t run a campaign that embraced such coarse, ugly, disrespectful campaigning.Luckily for the Deplorables, Trump appears to have no decency. Which leads to:T-shirts for sale outside of some Trump rallies that read, “Trump That Bitch.”Buttons that read: Life’s a Bitch, Don’t Vote for OneAnother button: KFC Hillary Meal Deal: Two Fat Thighs, Two Small Breasts and a Bunch of Left Wings.Another button: Don’t be a Pussy: Vote for Trump 2016Still another: Trump 2016 Finally Someone with BallsT-shirt: Hillary Sucks, But Not Like MonicaThese specifically-targeted, personal attacks are rather unusual. Although, to be fair, the same Deplorables hung on to the idea that President Obama wasn’t born in the United States years after all evidence pointed to the contrary. Which, by the way, was another asinine point-of-view endorsed by Trump.But Hillary has the highest unfavorable ratings of any Democratic candidate in recent history. On average, 52% of white male voters have an unfavorable opinion of her. That’s 20 points higher than President Obama in 2012, and 28 points higher than John Kerry in 2004.Nate Silver recently pointed out that if only men voted, Trump would beat Hillary Clinton by 11 points, according to numerous polling data.So while many of Hillary’s detractors will claim that they won’t vote for her because of Benghazi or e-mails or trade or the Clinton Foundation, their campaign paraphernalia, and the incredible unfavorable numbers imply that there’s more than just policy at work here.Hillary Clinton is the first female nominee for president from a major political party. And that fact alone will disqualify her in the eyes of some. Those people would have opposed Elizabeth Warren, or Barbara Boxer, or Kirsten Gillibrand if they were the Democratic party nominee.Donald Trump, with his well-documented history of disrespecting women, is the perfect candidate to oppose Clinton, or any other female nominee. He’ll add fuel to the fire, giving a voice to the segment of the population threatened by any woman who doesn’t “know her place.”Three weeks from today the rest of us—those who won’t automatically dismiss the candidacy of someone who isn’t a white male—have a chance to send these Deplorables, and their new callous, opportunistic, vile leader, back to the remote corners of their basket, which is right where they belong.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!

IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: The Senate's Shameful Gun VotesPREVIOUS POST: How I Defend Hillary Clinton

How I Defend Hillary Clinton

In my last blog post I asked Donald Trump supporters how they defended their candidate. The misogynistic, narcissistic, predatory comments that have recently been in the news are enough to disqualify him from the presidency, but even if he’s given a free pass, there are plenty of other reasons why he doesn’t deserve anyone’s vote.A few people commented on my post, and brought up Hillary Clinton. I expected as much. I'm voting for Hillary Clinton for president, so I thought it’d be a good idea to explain how I defend her. She’s the candidate I’m voting for, so I should have reasons why I defend her.But before I continue, let me make two points clear. She’s not my first choice for President. I’d much prefer a more liberal candidate like Bernie Sanders. But she’s the most liberal candidate who has a chance of winning, so I support her.My second point is something that many people do not understand. Defending her does not involve justifying her negatives by stating that the other candidate has worse negatives. Donald Trump is an idiotic asshole. And idiotic assholes shouldn’t be president. I can’t put that any more simply.And although I do think that Clinton should get the vote of anyone who thinks they’re voting for the lesser of two evils, or anyone who subscribes to the Anyone But Trump line of thinking, she would deserve my vote regardless of the identity of her Republican opponent.I don’t think political or government experience is a requirement to be a good president. Good policy judgment is more important. That’s why I had no problem supporting a first-term senator for the presidency in 2008, and I haven’t once regretted that support.During her time as Secretary of State, Clinton repeatedly displayed good policy judgment. She came into office at a time when the diplomatic presence of the United States was at a low point, and she advocated for an increased diplomatic presence around the world, but especially in Iraq, where U.S. diplomacy had been left to the Defense Department up until that point.The importance of a candidate’s advocacy for peaceful and diplomatic resolutions cannot be overstated.Without a doubt, Clinton has had lapses in policy judgment. She supported the Iraq war, ignoring critics who correctly pointed out at the time that the Bush Administration justifications for the war were erroneous. She, like almost every other Senator, voted for the USA Patriot Act in 2001. But she opposed the Bush tax cuts, the Iraq War troop surge, and the bailout of the financial system, all of which were difficult votes, but votes that I agreed with.Because negative campaigning works, and because of her long history in the public eye, we have heard more about controversies involving Clinton that we have about her actual policy positions. However, most of these controversies have been blown out of proportion for political reasons, or are based on outright fallacies.Benghazi.Few issues have transitioned into a purely political controversy more than the attacks in Benghazi that occurred while Clinton was Secretary of State. Numerous investigations spent millions of dollars trying to find “the truth” about what happened in Benghazi and how Clinton responded. In the end, a House committee investigation that lasted two years, cost more than $7 million, and became bitterly partisan, differed little from the numerous other investigations, reports and testimony over the years.General David Petraeus, who also served as CIA director, said, “I am not sure that the amount of scrutiny spent on this (Benghazi) has been in the least bit worth it.”Clinton didn’t handle the Benghazi response perfectly. I don’t believe she intentionally lied or failed to act.E-mails.When the Secretary of State uses a private e-mail server to conduct government business, and takes preventive action to ensure electronic communication doesn’t go through servers in the State department, it raises questions.But before you jump to conclusions, you should keep in mind that the Secretary of State then informed Clinton how to do the same. Yes, I’m talking about Colin Powell. So it seems patently unfair to assume that Clinton had some fishy reason for using a private e-mail server, when, in fact, she was just doing what a predecessor in the previous administration did.She was careless in her use of e-mail. She used poor judgment in using private servers. However, the F.B.I. concluded that Clinton did not intentionally transmit or willfully mishandle classified information.She’s not a perfect candidate. I wish she were more liberal. But ultra-liberals don’t win national elections. I wish she weren’t so secretive. But in today’s environment of half-truths, willful misrepresentations and distortions, and outright lies from politicians, talk radio entertainers who pose as legitimate policy experts, and the fringe elements who believe any tidbit of information without questioning its veracity, I somewhat understand her instinctual secrecy.Despite her faults she’s the most progressive candidate who has a chance to win the presidency in 2016. So I’ve made an informed, thoughtful choice to support her.And like my choice to support President Obama in 2008, I suspect I’ll never regret that choice.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!

IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: We Can Do Better Than Donald Trump, Can't We?PREVIOUS POST: How Do YOU Defend Donald Trump?

How Do YOU Defend Donald Trump?

How do you defend Donald Trump? I’m talking to you, Trump supporter. Potential Trump voter. How do you defend him?You must defend him, right? When you’re gathered around the water cooler at work and someone mentions a fact about Trump, you defend him, don’t you? And when a Facebook friend posts some disparaging words about your choice for president, you have to respond. Maybe you don’t actually type a response, but surely you respond in your own head.How do you do it? What do you say?I’ve never been in the position of thinking that someone who brags about assaulting women, and then brushes off criticism of his comments, should be President of the United States.I’ve never heard a person utter the words, “You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything,” and then thought to myself, “Yeah, I want that guy to be President of the United States."So those of you who think such a man should be President, how do you defend him? How do you justify his actions, his words, his thoughts?When he implies that “the Second Amendment people” might be able to do something about Hillary Clinton’s hypothetical judicial nominations, how do you defend him?When he accuses a Mexican American judge of being biased against him because he has proposed to build a wall along the border with Mexico, how do you defend him?When he refuses to disavow support from a former leader of the Ku Klux Klan, how do you defend him?When he asks attendees at one of his rallies to “knock the crap” out of other attendees, how do you defend him?When he says, “When people call you brilliant, it’s always good, especially when the person heads up Russia,” how do you defend him?When he calls for banning members of an entire religion—well over one billion completely innocent people—from entering the United States, how do you defend him?When he imitates a disabled reporter by jerking his arms around in front of his body and saying, “Now this poor guy, you ought to see this guy,” how do you defend him?When he calls undocumented immigrants rapists, how do you defend him?When he continues to perpetuate a lie that the current president wasn’t born in the United States, years after official documentation proved otherwise, and then admits that he was born in the United States, but then blames the lie on someone else, how do you defend him?This is the man you want to be president. There are 320 million people in this country, and he is your choice.So how do you defend him?You don’t. You can’t. He’s indefensible. His words are indefensible. His ideas are indefensible. He’s a living, breathing, walking, talking example of what is wrong with this country. He promises to Make America Great Again, while simultaneously showing us how un-great he is. His ideas and his speech are sexist, and racist, and ill-informed, and oversimplified, and show a complete inability for deep and sustained thought on any subject.He’s an entertainer. A caricature of a presidential candidate. He’s idiotic, dumb, dull, dense, shortsighted, ill-tempered, moronic, simpleminded and foolish. The world is a worse place because he is who he is.And you, Trump supporter, want to take who he is—he hasn’t been shy about this, he hasn’t denied being who he is—and elevate him to the Oval Office. This shyster, this swindler, this self-obsessed, responsibility-averse carnival barker won’t make us great again. He can’t. He’s only concerned with himself. And he’s fooling you into believing he cares about you, and me, and us.Don’t be fooled.In the future, when your children, or grandchildren, or great-grandchildren ask you whom you voted for in 2016, do you want to say Donald Trump? And when they ask you why you voted for him, what will you say? And after your explanation, when they say, “Even though he…?”Because by then you won’t have to defend him.You’ll have to defend yourself, and why you thought he would make a good president.Good luck.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!

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Observations From Attending My First Symphony

There are few things I know less about than symphony orchestra. In fact, in preparation for this blog post I had to look up the meaning of each of those words. I’m that dumb, music-wise.And before I go any further, in case you’re a music dummy as well, a symphony is an extended musical composition, and an orchestra is the group of musicians playing the symphony. I guess I knew what both of those words meant, but I didn’t feel confident enough to write about them.Anyway, my oldest son decided he wanted to begin playing viola this year. He’s in middle school now, and despite my skepticism about his commitment, he’s done well and likes it.The other day his orchestra teacher sent a text saying that the Valparaiso University symphony orchestra was offering three free tickets to students for their homecoming concert this past Saturday. Being a symphony orchestra idiot, but the father of an orchestra soon-to-be performer, I figured this was a good chance to dive into it.I’m glad I did!I took my two sons, the violist, and his younger brother. I told them they had to dress up a little because Pokemon t-shirts and basketball shorts didn’t seem quite appropriate for such a sophisticated event. We got our tickets (somehow we were the only people from our school who claimed these free tickets) and found our seats.The concert took place in the university chapel. After we sat down my sons and I shared the same thought: “We have to sit in these chairs for the next 90 minutes?” They seemed to be designed specifically for discomfort, but I just read a news article that referred to them as “an icon of British postwar design.” So apparently I’m an idiot design-wise as well.However, I did know enough to realize that the cushions that hang from the backs of the chairs are for kneeling, not for placing on the seat of the chair, which is something one of the high-schoolers in front of us couldn’t figure out. At least there’s that.For the next ninety minutes I paid close attention to the music, the instruments, the musicians, and my sons. A few observations…First, the conductor. He looked like Bernie Sanders from behind. I’m sure this is just my musical idiocy rearing its ugly face, but does a conductor really do anything? All the musicians have the sheet music in front of them. Why do they need a guy doing sign language for each note? And can they even see him if they’re looking at their sheet music? And what if they’re looking at the sheet music, and then glance up at him, and then look back down, but end up in the wrong place? Seems like it could turn into a real disaster.I couldn’t identify an impressive looking instrument in the back, so I looked it up on my phone and found out it was a bassoon. Someone was really thinking when they invented that!Someone played the triangle! I thought to myself, “Oh, that person must suck at everything else so they threw her on the triangle.” I mean, how hard could it be? But then I decided that the difficulty of the triangle is knowing the precise moment to play it. Song song song song hit the triangle song song song. How do they know when to do that? Impressive.A harp was there, too. Just for the first song. How does anyone learn to play the harp? My song brings his viola to school everyday, and then brings it home so he can practice at night. He couldn’t do that with a harp. Here’s to portable instruments.An alumni of the university joined the orchestra for one song. She played a super long solo and had no sheet music in front of her. And the conductor just stood their watching her. That seemed awesome.I think her husband was sitting in the row in front of us. He clapped overly enthusiastically when she walked on stage, sat on the edge of his seat as she played, and then looked around the room as everyone applauded, as if trying to decide whether to rise and begin a standing ovation. He didn’t, but he looked pleased.During one number all the cellists and bassists were playing in complete unison and I watched their fingers maniacally moving this way and that as they played each note in a particularly furious section of the song. It was like synchronized swimming, but on a scale both much smaller (just fingers) and much larger (at least a dozen musicians).Near the end one of the musicians played an upright drum that had a cymbal attached to it, and then he hit it with another cymbal. This seemed like some sort of homemade contraption, but it sounded great.As we left the chapel I asked my sons what they thought of the concert. My older son loved it and said he wants to go to another symphony orchestra. My younger son said it was okay, but the songs were too long. “How many times do we have to hear wah-wah, wuh-wuh, wah-wah, wuh-wuh?” as he imitated the sound of violas.I’m no less dumb about music than I was before the concert, but new experiences are always great. And sharing it with my sons only made it better.But I don’t care what anyone says: those chairs suck.***Update: My orchestra son reminds me that we went to a symphony last summer. Pokemon Symphonic Evolutions played at the Chicago Theatre and we were there. Too much excitement over Pikachus and Bulbasaurs to remember the symphony though, apparently.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!

IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Taylor Swift and the End of My Musical ElitismPREVIOUS POST: How A Tiny Book Made Me Feel Special

How A Tiny Book Made Me Feel Special

I’ve never understood why people don’t like their birthdays. Of course it’s difficult getting older, and I guess some people don’t want a reminder that another year has passed. But birthdays are the only day of the year devoted to you. So why not embrace it and celebrate it?Birthdays have always been a big deal for me. As a kid we always celebrated birthdays, and when I started my own family we continued the birthday celebration tradition. Cakes, decorations, presents, meals, birthday outings, and often birthday weekends, or even weeks, characterize birthdays in my family.Seventeen months ago I experienced one of the most special feelings of my life on my birthday. When I saw tonight’s Blogapalooz-hour challenge—“Write about a time somebody made you feel special"—I almost immediately knew what I’d write about.Birthday celebrations aren’t just kids stuff in my family. It’s a bigger deal for the kids, but we’ve always made sure that mom and dad get to celebrate, too.And one of the presents I received on that particular birthday, was a small book from my kids. It’s titled What I Love About Dad. (I got a little choked up just writing that title.)It’s a little book with one hundred pages. On one side of the page is a number, and on the other side of the page is a pre-written prompt that my children then filled in with their own thought, and signed their name.So there are things like “I love how you ______ every day.” And my son Brian filled in, “say goodnight.”Or “I love that you taught me to appreciate ______.” And my other son, Ben, filled in, “nature.”And my daughter Ellie filled in the prompt, “Your hugs are always _____” with the word “cuddleish.”Emily, my oldest daughter, chipped in, too. She completed “I love getting your advice on ____” with “music.”I could have written this morning’s Blogapalooz-hour post about this book, because I definitely have an emotional attachment to it.I love every present my kids have ever bought for me. I’m a t-shirt guy and they’ve given me so many awesome t-shirts that I’ve lost count. They’ve also given me some pretty fantastic kitchen gadgets over the years. And their handmade cards are always a highlight.But the fifty responses in this book provide an insight into how they think about me that makes it one of the most special things I’ve ever received. Once you know that the word your then-four-year-old daughter would use to describe you is “Prince” what more can you ask for?Or if your oldest daughter realizes that you take pleasure in not wasting things, then you realize that some of the little lessons you’ve tried to teach their entire lives have actually taken hold.We try very hard to make our kids feel special. It doesn’t take much most of the time. Some one-on-one attention, acknowledgment of a job well done, an unexpected little treat. All of those things help my kids realize that they’re not just kids. They’re MY kids. Not in a possessive way, but in a unique way. There are billions of other kids in the world, but there are no kids just like them. And I don’t think we can underestimate the importance of making our kids understand that.Then if we’re being honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that even though we’re the parents, and it’s in our nature to put our children before ourselves (if we’re good parents, that is), it feels pretty damn good when we’re made to feel special, too.There are billions of dads in the world, but Emily, Ben, Brian and Ellie have just one dad: me. And even though I’ve felt special many times, I’ll never forget that birthday last spring—it was a Monday—when a little tiny book reminded me how special they think I am.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!

IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: How to Make Sure Your Kids Aren't JerksPREVIOUS POST: The Inanimate Objects That are More Than Just Stuff

The Inanimate Objects That are More Than Just Stuff

Generally speaking, I don’t care about stuff. I don’t need the latest technological gizmo. Cars interest me only because they can take me to exciting places. I put almost zero thought into my clothes. Two weeks ago I decided I needed a new pair of shoes, but I have yet to buy them, and I’m not sure I will.But in thinking about today’s writing challenge—“Write about an inanimate object you have a strong emotional attachment to”—my thoughts returned to two groups of objects.Before I explain, let me say that the first thing that came to mind were pictures. Photographs can instantly bring us back to a particular time and place, and it’s difficult to think of anything more valuable than a family’s collection of photographs.But I’d argue that photographs aren’t inanimate. The people in them, and the memories attached to them, give them life.Which leaves me with the other two groups of objects.First, I’m emotionally attached to clothes, which might be surprising since I just said I put zero thought into my clothes. But I’m not talking about my clothes. I’m talking about my children’s clothes. And, to be more precise, my children’s “baby” clothes.We have bins of plastic totes filled with clothes that my children wore when they were young. (Not that kids who are five, ten, twelve and nineteen-years-old aren’t young!) There are onesies, footie pajamas, dress-up outfits, toddler t-shirts, and countless other outfits.And I can’t bring myself to part with them.When our kids are small, before they can effectively express themselves with words, or wardrobe choices, or in most other ways, their clothes and toys are huge parts of their lives. Every parent can identify with the kid who loves one shirt or dress so much that he or she wants to wear it as much as possible.My twelve-year-old son would still wear a particular yellow Pokemon shirt every day if we’d let him. And that tendency toward clothing obsession is even more prevalent in small children.Every now and then we pull those plastic totes from storage and go through them with the intention of getting rid of some stuff. But then I see those Very Hungry Caterpillar pajamas that we had in different sizes so my son could continue to wear them as he got bigger. Or the How Now Brown Cow toddler outfit that my daughter wore almost twenty years ago. Or the leopard pajamas immortalized in a classic picture of my daughter crying after she was told she couldn’t have ice cream.And I realize, we’re not throwing any of this stuff away! I love it. I love the memories they bring to mind. Getting rid of that stuff would almost be like saying those memories don’t matter. So I’ll keep it. No matter how much space it consumes.The other group of objects to which I’m attached are certain housewares. These attachments aren’t directly related to my children, but they are reminiscent of memories that took place when they were young.We bought those glasses at an Old Time Pottery in Tennessee. I remember putting those chairs together. That entertainment center has been here as long as the house has been here.It’s the stuff of my life. No wonder I’m attached. But because it’s my life, and my memories, and my family, it’s not just stuff.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!

IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Photography, My Wife's Useful ObessionPREVIOUS POST: Celebrating My Son's Enthusiasm on His 12th Birthday

Celebrating My Son's Enthusiasm on His 12th Birthday

“Today’s chicken nuggets for lunch!” my son exclaimed this morning, which was the beginning of his last full day as an eleven-year-old. He was eating breakfast, but already thinking about lunch as he sat at the table with his brother and sister, the three of them just shaking off the last bits of sleep.“I’m buying today,” he said.“Do you have money?” I asked.His excitement disappeared. “No, but mom said I could buy.”I’d just begun making lunches while the three of them ate their breakfast, but I’d gotten no further thank taking out six slices of bread. “I’ll have to go get some cash,” I told him, secretly hoping that he’d say something like, “Oh, that’s too much trouble. Just make me a sandwich.”Eleven year olds don’t think like that.Instead he pumped his fist and snarled, “Yes! Their chicken nuggets are so good.” This is his eighteenth day of middle school. He’s never bought lunch in middle school before. I have no idea how he knows that their chicken nuggets are so good.I got some cash and gave him three dollars. (By the way, say what you want about its nutritional value, but is there a better deal on earth than school lunches? For $2.25 the kid got chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes & gravy, steamed carrots, a hot roll, and a half pint of milk. For $2.25!)At the dinner table he told me that the chicken nuggets were even better than the ones at elementary school. And he’s not the only one who thinks they’re delicious. He traded a chicken nugget to another kid in exchange for a cookie and a few Goldfish crackers! Chicken nuggets are the middle school equivalent of prison cigarettes.I’ll never forget that the middle school has good chicken nuggets because of how enthusiastic my son was about it this morning.His enthusiasm is one of my favorite qualities about him. He gets very excited about so many different things. Of course, he shows enthusiasm about things that everyone gets excited about: birthdays, holidays, vacations, new video games. But he’s also just as likely to get excited about staying up late, bite size shredded wheat cereal, or a new episode of Extra, the television show.This enthusiasm is nothing new. It’s always been part of his personality. From birth until he was about eight or nine-years-old his arms would wave wildly when he talked or thought about something that excited him. He literally looked like a bird trying to fly. Every now and then he’ll still do the arm waves, and like always, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.He plays Pokemon and has memorized the names and types and characteristics of pretty much every Pokemon that exists. (There are many hundreds of them!) He also begins to talk very fast when he’s excited. So if he’s excited about Pokemon and telling us about some Pokemon character, we often won’t be able to understand a word he’s saying, between the speed of his speech, and the nonsensical names of most Pokemon. (Charizard!)This is the last year before he becomes a teenager, and I hope he doesn’t lose his enthusiasm in his teen years. There’s something so innocent and lovely about the way he finds excitement and fun in so many things. If he resorts to the stereotypical teenage attitude of annoyance and unimpressiveness with practically everything, I’ll feel a little dispirited myself.He’s quite an individual. He likes what he likes and he doesn’t care what others think. It doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t like Pokemon. Or if most people think of plush toys being for younger kids. Or if Weird Al Yankovic isn’t pop music. He likes it, and it doesn’t matter to him whether you like it, or you think he’s silly for liking it.We’ll celebrate his birthday this weekend, and when we go out to dinner he’ll make sure the waitress knows it’s his birthday in case she wants to bring him a free dessert or get her co-workers to sing to him. And he’ll revel in all the little ways we recognize his day.And without even trying, he’ll pass some of that enthusiasm on to us, and as we watch him smile, and maybe see his arms wave a little bit, we’ll be reminded of everything that’s truly important.Enter your e-mail address below and we'll send new Dry it in the Water posts directly to your inbox!

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Fall Can Wait

There’s plenty to hate about Facebook and all of the people who use it. Like me. But recently I’ve been enraged at the number of posts foreshadowing the arrival of fall. Autumn. The stupid season after this one.If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then either you’re not spending enough time on Facebook or you’re the only person who has managed to avoid having even just one of these summer hating friends. I commend you on both counts.I have a few of these people among my “friends.” (Unrelated diatribe: Is there any word on the planet used more loosely than the way we use the word friends on Facebook? No. I sense a future blog post brewing.)For some reason, these people aren’t content with summer. As they obnoxiously remind us, they’re looking forward to bonfires, apple cider, jumping in the leaves, and wearing sweatshirts. Hoofrickin’ray.Not to rain on your parade—Good luck enjoying those raw, drenching October rains by the way—but you’re going to stink like smoke after sitting around a bonfire all night. And apple cider is the quintessential example of something that we always think tastes better than it actually does. And newsflash: you’ve got to rake all those damn leaves before you can jump in them. And sweatshirts? Well I can’t think of anything bad to say about sweatshirts, but I’m sure I’m forgetting something.Fair warning: I reserve the right to punch anyone who sings the praises of pumpkin flavored anything. Pumpkin spice latte. Pumpkin beer. Pumpkin bread. It’s just not that good. Stop pretending that it is! Just admit that you’re too lazy to put in the effort to make a good pumpkin pie so you’re looking for a shortcut.Why did the Pilgrims and the Native Americans have pumpkin pie at the first Thanksgiving and not pumpkin spice lattes? Because pumpkin pie is the real thing, and they were keeping it real back in Mayflower days.But fall’s biggest problem is related to what follows it.Winter!Disgusting. Cold, gray, dark, uncomfortable, dead, dry, lifeless winter.All of you people who are complaining that it’s too hot and you can’t wait for cooler weather and the leaves changing are really going to be kicking yourselves in a few months when you’re freezing your butt off and every damn leaf has fallen off of every damn tree.Stop being so shortsighted autumnphiles. There’s three months of grotesque weather at the end of the season you love so much. You might have forgotten, but I haven’t.Stop rushing through summer. It goes by fast enough without people like you constantly wishing it away. Don’t propel all of us toward winter’s suffering just because you’ve forgotten to appreciate green grass, cicadas, and going outside without layers of clothing.At some point I developed a rule that I do not wear a jacket before October 1. It’s my own small way of defying the arrival of fall. I end up with some chilly mornings at the end of September, but the warmth of extending summer in my own mind is enough for me. And this year my No Jacket rule serves double duty as a counter measure to those people who are all too eager to put another summer in the rearview mirror.We’ve got a couple of more weeks before the end of summer. Just because the kids are back in school doesn’t mean we have to give up the fight. Temperatures are still in the eighties, and I heard two magical words on the weather forecast for today: heat index!So keep those damn sweatshirts in the closet, and drink a lemonade. It’s still summertime. Embrace it. You’ll be happy you did. Four months from today, when you’re hoping for the temperature to reach double digits, and you almost fall on a patch of ice, and the forecast calls for another four inches of snow, you’ll be longing for a day like today.And I have to confess, there are a few things I like about fall. Apple picking. Halloween. Thanksgiving. My daughter’s birthday. Baseball playoffs.But every year, on the first day of fall, I have the same thought: only six more months until spring!IF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Why Winter SucksPREVIOUS POST: What If You Get a Second Chance?