My calendar almost got me killed today. Somehow it managed to figure out that the first day of Autumn is tomorrow, and Rosh Hashanah begins on Wednesday, yet it has nothing but silence for today. And that's very dangerous.If you don't know why, then you might be in trouble.Today is Wife Appreciation Day. Look it up. I'm not kidding.How on earth can a calendar overlook such a thing? I can think of few other days of the year more important to be aware of than Wife Appreciation Day. Mother's Day, for sure. And I'd say that my wife's birthday and our wedding anniversary fall into that category as well, but those days are different for everyone, so I'll cut the calendar some slack.But Wife Appreciation Day? Come on. That day needs to be in bold on every single calendar ever produced.Now you may say that it's such a minor holiday and so few people observe it that it doesn't really matter. And I agree. However, it's one of those holidays where it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. It only matters what your wife thinks.As that great philosopher, Mr. T, always says, I pity the fool who's unaware that today is Wife Appreciation Day, while his wife has had it circled on her calendar for months. It's probably been a day of increasingly cold silence around that poor schmuck's house, and it's not going to get any better.Luckily, my wife is stupendous. She told me about Wife Appreciation Day this afternoon. And while she suggested that cheesecake might be a great way to celebrate, she didn’t want me to go through the trouble. Instead, I just fed her fountain Diet Coke addiction, and she was happy.And that’s just a small example of why I consider every day Wife Appreciation Day!However, my wife is one-in-a-million, so if you have a wife, and you don’t know what today is, you might be in trouble. I wish I had some sage words of advice that would be helpful, but I don’t. Instead all I can offer are a few tidbits to help you avoid making the situation worse.First, don’t ask her if she knows it’s Wife Appreciation Day. It’s best to assume that she does know, but also pretend that you don’t know. Then figure out a way to show her you appreciate her.No, I can’t do this part for you. Take some initiative, lazy ass. You know your wife, I don’t. If you can’t figure out a way to show her that you appreciate her, then this single day isn’t your biggest problem.If your wife figures out what’s going on and accuses you of false appreciation only because it’s Wife Appreciation Day, and she’s upset, do not make the “when’s Husband Appreciation Day” argument. This is the tactic of scoundrels and you’re only going to seem like an idiot if you ask such a question. (But just so you know, Husband Appreciation Day is April 18 next year!)Also, say nothing about Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, her birthday, your anniversary, or any other day of the year set aside for her. She doesn’t want to hear it. She’s married to a guy who doesn’t appreciate her, and can’t even act like it for a day. You think she cares whether you think she’s got too many holidays? She doesn’t, so shut the hell up.And lastly, do not, under any circumstances, say something like, “Well the wife of the guy who writes the blog didn’t care about this holiday.” Leave me and my wife out of it. Don’t make us scapegoats for your thickheadedness. Not all wives can be awesome. I hit the jackpot. That’s just the way it goes. Sour grapes isn’t going to make it any better.The better path is to acknowledge your former ignorance, apologize, and never forget again.And by the way, it wouldn’t hurt to show some appreciation in the process. You’re undoubtedly better off with her than you would be without her, whatever delusional notions you have of the bachelor lifestyle. So stop reading and get to it. Show her that you appreciate it her.She deserves it.I've written this. You've read this. Now share it and like it. Please!+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++By the way, if you like what you're reading here, you should like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes.You should subscribe to this blog, don't you think? That way you'll never forget to come back. Forgetting is bad. So why don't you just type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. I'm not going to send you a bunch of junk, and you can ditch me any time you want.