Regret can be tricky. I suspect that has to do with the whole issue of time. We’re here on Earth for a few years and then we’re not. This moment will never return. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.This is the part where we turn to Cher for wisdom. Her song "If I Could Turn Back Time" perfectly captures the reason some people are so sensitive to regret. In case you don’t know this song, or you just want to act like you don’t know it (but come on, don’t be ashamed if Cher has a prominent place on your iPod), let me explain.Cher sings about wishing that she could turn back time so that she could take back mean things that she said. She didn’t want to hurt anyone. She didn’t want to see anyone go. But she did. And since she can’t go back and change it, she sang a song about it.(One side note: Watching Cher strut around half naked, in an unbelievably revealing “outfit” on an aircraft carrier while she sang this song in the video wasn’t the worst thing in the world as far as eleven-year-old Brett was concerned. Not bad at all.)If we could do as Cher desires, and actually turn back time, then regret wouldn’t be a thing. You could undo anything that you wish didn’t happen.But Cher’s just a singer, not an inventor, so we can’t yet turn back time. Therefore, regret exists.I don’t think much about regret. I’m not a worrier in general, and I’m sure as hell not going to worry about things that have already happened and are beyond changing.
I think certain people are just more prone to regret, also. I can’t remember who said it, or where I read it, but a few months back I came across an idea that basically argued that people who frequently say “No regrets!” probably have the most things that they should regret.For some reason I always associate the “No regrets!” mantra with the type of person who wants to talk to you more than you want to talk to them.You know the type of person I’m talking about. He—it’s usually a he, but it could be a she, too—corners you at work, or at a party, or at your kid’s soccer game, and blathers on about anything that crosses his mind. Sometimes the thoughts are disjointed. Often they’ll make no sense.Inevitably, if he corners you long enough, he’ll bring up something that he did years ago, or months ago, or last week, and you’ll have to listen to his ridiculous story and act like you don’t think he’s an idiot, when really you’re thinking, “How do you even function as a person?”And if you have the poor misfortune of not breaking away, he’ll get to the end of his crazy story, and punctuate it with “No regrets though! Right? No regrets!” He’ll act as though he just thought of this revolutionary concept.Since you’re a functioning member of society, you’ll just nod your head, or say something like “That’s incredible!” But inside you’re thinking, “If there’s anything that someone should regret, it’s that story you just told me. No regrets? Are you sure about that?”Don’t expect him to change his mind though. That might be admitting regret.I’m not against the idea of no regrets. Actually, I’m for it, for the most part. Whatever’s happened in the past has made you who you are. And hopefully you like who you are. Even if you don’t like who you are, all you have to do is change, which requires thinking about the future, not dwelling on the past.Better to not regret things and just take the attitude that I stole from my wife’s cousin: It makes a better story. Whatever happens, happens. And if it doesn’t turn out good, well, it makes a better story!Just don’t get cornered by that guy at the party. Then you’ll know what true regret is all about.This post was written as part of ChicagoNow's weekly This Blogger Life series. The prompt for this week was "Regrets? I've had ... a few? None? A boatload?"PREVIOUS POST: SB101: Indiana's Shameful Discrimination BillIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: A Sybaris Experience Confession+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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