I probably don’t know you. And even if I do know you, chances are I haven’t been with you every second this summer. Even so, I think it’s safe to say that I’ve eaten more ice cream than you this summer.Don’t believe me? Well I’ve got eleven pounds gained since May 31 that support my theory, my friend. (You too, my enemy.)It’s rather unusual for people to brag about being a glutton. “Look at me, I can shove high-calorie, high-sugar, low-nutrient food into my mouth in copious amounts!” That’s not a claim that too many people shout from the rooftops.But to me, summer ice cream is different. Sure, summer ice cream is junk, and it takes no particular talent to eat ice cream, but still, my claims of ice cream eating superiority shouldn’t ring hollow.Eating ice cream—especially in the summer, when it’s hot and ice cream is the quintessential summer “food”—is something to be celebrated. What other foods have a jingle written about them? “I scream, you scream, we all scream, for ice cream!”And yes, other desserts and sweets are good, too, but when was the last time you saw some kids chasing a cookie truck through the neighborhood? Is there a pie truck that passes your house every afternoon blaring a catchy tune?Of course not. But I bet you’ve memorized the jingle your neighborhood’s ice cream truck repeats. And despite the high likelihood that the ice cream truck driver is a murderer or a maniac, who doesn’t love ice cream trucks?(Actually, I once heard of parents who told their kids that the ice cream truck plays music when it’s out of ice cream. Can you imagine a childhood with such self-centered jerks for parents? What other fun things have those miserable people ruined for their kids?)Although I sing the praises of the ice cream truck, I have yet to purchase anything from one this summer. Cut me some slack, I’ve been too busy devouring real ice cream cones to even consider paying five bucks for a Spongebob novelty with gumball eyes.My ice cream obsession has taken cone form this summer, as usual. I don’t know who invented the ice cream cone, but I’m pretty sure they were a genius, and if there’s not some great scientific or culinary award named in their honor then there’s no justice in the world.
The cone reigns supreme. There's nothing more annoying than people who go to an ice cream shop and order anything but a cone. Except for the Dairy Queen Blizzard. Those are acceptable. Anything else is an abomination.As usual, ice cream cone season began on April 1, which is when Dairy Belle opens every year. Dairy Belle is in Hammond, Indiana, and it just so happens to have the best ice cream cones in the world. A grandiose claim? Yes, but disprove me. I double dog dare you.In the meantime, go to Dairy Belle and order up a large twist cone (chocolate and vanilla) dipped in chocolate, butterscotch, cherry, blue raspberry, peanut butter, chocolate sprinkles, rainbow sprinkles or the mysterious Krunch Kote. Then proceed to eat said cone, enjoying every single lick, until at some point you realize that the damn thing’s too big and you’ve got a stomach ache.If you can’t make it to Dairy Belle—or if, like me, you prefer to save Dairy Belle for a special treat—then McDonald’s is a satisfactory alternative. They’ve got good ice cream, it’s cheap, and if you’re lucky you might find a location that will dip it in chocolate.The dipped cone is the special bonus. Last year, every McDonald’s had dipped cones. This year, none of the locations by my house offer them. I should know, I’ve called or visited nine McDonald’s in northwest Indiana this summer, and I’m 0 for 9 in securing a dipped cone. However, just over the border into Michigan…dipped cone!I spent six days in Michigan with my family a couple of weeks ago. At one point we wanted dipped cones so we went to McDonald’s only to find that their ice cream machine was broken. So we naturally drove fifteen miles to the next closest McDonald’s in Michigan so we could get a dipped cone rather than drive ten miles to an Indiana McDonald’s and give up the chocolate dip.Priorities people.So just how much ice cream have I had this summer? I’m sorry to say that I haven’t kept count. However, I did have a cone yesterday, which marked the sixth day out of seven that I consumed such pleasure, and it hasn’t seemed excessive. If I had to guess, I’d say I’d say I’m right around 100 ice cream cones since the season began on April 1, with more to follow. Next year I’ll keep track.And lest you think that my four kids are driving this ice cream craze, I should point out that yesterday my wife and I got cones from McDonald’s and sat in the car and finished eating them before going in the house.Frequently, we wait until the kids go to bed before making a late-night cone run. Luckily, McDonald’s is literally one minute from my house. And just a few weeks ago, after treating the whole family to Dairy Belle, my wife and I made a just-before-closing run to Dairy Belle and treated ourselves to our second cones of the day.That time we just ordered junior cones though.We didn’t want to be ridiculous about it.PREVIOUS POST: Home Field Advantage is Good in Sports and in LifeIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: PB&J the Right Way+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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