Ladies and Gentlemen, Dick Cavett

Dick Cavett turns seventy-eight today. Unfortunately, that means that most people my age and younger probably don’t know him and his work, since it’s been forty years since the heyday of The Dick Cavett Show. He did host variants of his original show over the ensuing thirty years, but it’s the first show for which he’s best known.The Dick Cavett Show aired opposite The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson from 1969-1975. While Carson’s guests usually consisted of television or film actors who had something to promote, Cavett welcomed a broad spectrum of guests. He welcomed writers, musicians, politicians, protestors, artists and just about anyone else who might be of interest to viewers who like to engage their brains while watching television.The original late night show ended three years before I was born, but thanks to Turner Classic Movies, and the internet, I’ve made myself familiar with Cavett’s work.And it is awesome.In the brief time it was on, the show provided countless memorable moments. Among them:--Jefferson Airplane, Joni Mitchell, David Crosby and Stephen Stills all appeared on the show right after leaving Woodstock. Stills still had mud on his pants!--Jimi Hendrix appeared a few days later and defended his performance of the Star Spangled Banner.--Georgia Governor Lestor Maddox stormed off the show after Cavett said that he was elected by bigots. Truman Capote remained on stage.--J.I. Rodale, a proponent of sustainable, organic agriculture died on stage. Cavett was interviewing someone else, Rodale made a snoring noise, and then just died. The show never aired.--A Vietnam War veteran named John Kerry, who had become an anti-war protestor, debated John E. O’Neill, who supported the war. Thirty-three years later, when Kerry was running for president, O’Neill would form a political group that made up lies about Kerry’s service in Vietnam.--Norman Mailer and Gore Vidal practically came to blows as they traded insults. A partial clip of the event can be found here. If you don’t watch the whole thing, at least fast-forward to 3:31 of the clip and try to imagine one of today’s late night hosts having a show like that. Read Cavett’s account of the entire episode in his blog.--He did back-to-back shows on pornography.--He did a show with the Secretary of the Interior, and nine animals that Cavett commented on were subsequently added to the endangered species list.And those are just some of the outrageous moments that occurred on his show. They’re awesome, and I enjoy reading about them, but even his regular interviews are must see TV.A few years ago Turner Classic Movies replayed a number of interviews from his original show. Watching him interview Bette Davis, Alfred Hitchcock, Groucho Marx, Woody Allen, and Robert Mitchum is like stepping into a time machine and getting to know Hollywood legends.Katharine Hepburn famously refused to give interviews, partly because she found them uncomfortable. Cavett tried for years to get her on the show. Eventually he succeeded, but then she wanted to back out at the last minute.So Cavett talked her into coming to the studio to get a feel for things the day before the show. She felt so comfortable that they sat on the set and ended up doing the two-hour interview right then and there, with no audience, and Hepburn dressed casually, wearing sandals, with her hair up. TCM showed the entire interview a couple of years ago and it felt historic.Cavett’s show was unlike anything else on television. Guests were there to have a conversation about their work, their craft, or ideas in general.I listened to an interview with Cavett a few months back in which he said that Johnny Carson always questioned staffers about why Cavett got guests that he couldn’t. Cavett was edgier, more daring, took more chances. And while this made for a good show, it didn’t attract viewers in the same numbers that Carson did. But still, of all the shows that tried to knock Carson off the late night throne, Cavett was the only person who Carson ever thought might succeed.The Dick Cavett Show was different from everything else back then, and it would be even more unique now. Today’s late night hosts are all incredibly funny and entertaining, but it sure would be nice to have a show like The Dick Cavett Show thrown into the mix.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++I have a Facebook page Brett Baker Writes. You should Like it.

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What I'm Thinking About When I'm Running

I like to run. Not only is it good exercise, but it’s a good way to enjoy some fresh air, relieve stress, and see my neighborhood. Unless I’m running on a treadmill in the basement. Then it’s just good exercise and trying not to stare at the digital mileage display.Many runners listen to music while running, but I prefer not to. I’m not one of those fancy multi-taskers who can run, and chew gum, and breathe, and listen to music, and avoid being hit by a car at the same time, so I try to keep it simple. When I’m running it’s just me and…well, me.That gives me plenty of time to think. I’m a big fan of thinking.So if you ever see me running through your neighborhood here are a few things I might be thinking.“No, I don’t need a ride.” This doesn’t come up often, and it usually only happens when I’m running in a rural area, but I’ve had people in cars stop and ask me if I needed a ride. I know that the idea of someone running for fun instead of trying to get to a destination is foreign to some people, but no, I don’t need a ride. Unless you see me limping badly, or being chased by someone with a chainsaw or an ax. Then yes, I probably do need a ride.“I’m not stopping. I’m not stopping.” This is different than the “I can’t quit,” thought that I have when I’m in the middle of a difficult run and want to give up. “I’m not stopping” comes as a warning to people standing in their front yard.As in, “I don’t care if your dog is chasing me, and you’re calling its name, and it won’t come back because its biological predisposition to chase things has kicked in. Your failure to properly restrain your dog does not require me to interrupt my run so you can get your dog. Sorry, but I’m not stopping. Either the dog or I will eventually get tired, so you can get him then.”“Yes, I do realize that I’m running in the road.” While I’ve never had a driver actually stop and yell at me for running in the road, I can feel the scornful looks every now and then. Some drivers don’t like to share the road with anything other than other drivers in cars. Especially if sharing the road means they have to yield for two seconds while I cross at an intersection.I run in the road because asphalt is softer on my knees than the concrete sidewalk. And also because when I encounter a car that’s parked across a sidewalk I get infuriated and hurt myself when I try to pickup the car and flip it on its roof.“I see you.” This is my mental check-in with car drivers. If a car is approaching me and I can see the driver, I make sure to make eye contact so the driver knows that I see them, and so they see me. Sometimes I add a “So don’t think about running me over,” just for good measure.“2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12…” If I’m thinking about those numbers, then in all likelihood I’ve fallen into the trap of counting my steps. This happens sometimes when my mind is blank or when I subconsciously detect the rhythm of my steps, and it is maddening! I’d much rather hum It’s a Small World for the entire run than count my steps, and that song can drive you crazy.“The wind will be better as soon as I turn the corner.” This is a lie, but I keep trying to fool myself into believing it. I know it seems to violate the laws of physics or meteorology or some other sciencey stuff, but I’m sure that sometimes when I run, the wind blows in all four directions at once, and it’s always in my face. It’s great. And by great I mean horrible.So if you see me running and I look like I’m in pain, don’t be alarmed. Everything’s probably fine, and I’m just thinking one of the thoughts above.Unless the chainsaw guy catches up with me. Then I’m screwed.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Let your fingers run on over to my Facebook page Brett Baker Writes and Like it, please.

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I'm the Pilgrims and You're Squanto

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, maybe even my most favorite. It’s just hanging out and eating, and who doesn’t love that?I also like all of the Thanksgiving-themed programming on television. Sitcoms have memorable episodes, and Food Network has more turkey-and-fixins-themed shows than you can shake a stick at. And don’t even get me started on legendary episodes from Thanksgivings past, like the infamous WKRP turkey drop episode.So I might as well get in on the action and write about Thanksgiving over the next couple of weeks.Of course, Thanksgiving now is a little bit different than that first Thanksgiving. I doubt the folks at the first celebration enjoyed a stuffing as awesome as my wife’s goat cheese and spinach concoction.Part of the reason that Pilgrims had any excess to share and enjoy with the Natives at that first holiday, was thanks to the help of a member of the Patuxet tribe, Squanto.As you probably learned in elementary school, Squanto helped the Pilgrims survive those rough first years upon their arrival in the New World when he taught them how to catch fish and use the fish as fertilizer to grow corn.The old saying, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach him to fish and you feed him for a lifetime,” could have been written about Squanto.Unfortunately, neither the Pilgrims or the Natives bothered to login to Facebook back then, so we don’t have any pictures or many first-hand accounts of how things went down. However, the spirit of the Pilgrims and Squanto lives on today.No, I’m not talking about goodwill toward man, or acceptance of those who are different from you, or any of those other lessons we could have taken away from Squanto and his English homies. That’s all fine and dandy, but I’m talking about the really important stuff: blogging and attracting readers.So for the purposes of this exercise, I’m the Pilgrims and you’re Squanto. Not only is this apropos for the reason I’m about to explain, but also because Squanto means divine rage. I’ve read comments on some blogs that couldn’t have been inspired by anything other than divine rage. But I know that none of my readers are full of divine rage, but rather divine grace, or divine wisdom.All right, let’s assume that you read my blog, and you think, “Boy that Dry it in the Water guy sure is smart/ funny/ witty/ thought-provoking.”First of all, thank you! That’s very nice of you. I appreciate the kind words.However, you’ve given me a fish. And even though I appreciate the fish, (not really, I don’t eat that crap!), what I’d really appreciate is if you taught me to fish. Which, in this metaphor, means that you tell other people how smart/ funny/ witty/ thought-provoking I am.You don’t want me to starve to death, do you? That’s not a very divine thing to do! So teach me to fish.Even though you’re Squanto, don’t make the mistake that the original Squanto made. Don’t forget to login to Facebook and like Brett Baker Writes. Then while you’re there, click on the Share button at the bottom of a post. That way all those cool, interesting, divinely-wise people that you’re friends with will see the post.You can also click on the Like button to show that you like what I’ve written. Some of your divinely-wise friends will see that as well, even if they haven’t yet Liked Brett Baker Writes.And if you’ve got something to say, then Comment on my post. I like to hear from you, and some of the insanely, mind-bogglingly intelligent people you’re friends with will see that you’ve commented and might checkout my posts as well.So don’t just celebrate Thanksgiving this year, become like the legendary Native American who helped make the holiday possible in the first place.Thanks for not letting me die.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++In case you didn't know, I have a Facebook page. It's called Brett Baker Writes. Like it, please.

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Professional Video Game Player is a Thing

Every so often I read something that’s so surprising that I’m sure that I’m being lied to. Like when I read that termites outweigh humans on Earth.Today’s revelation might take the cake though.I had no idea that anyone actually made a living playing video games. I’m not talking about the people who design video games and then have to play them to make sure they don’t suck.I’m talking about people who play video games. And that’s it!And chief among the professional video game players is a guy named Matt Haag. He’s twenty-two years old. And this year he’s going to make close to one million dollars.Yes, you read that correctly, one million dollars!What the f$%#?How can this be? How exactly does one make even a dollar playing video games, much less a million dollars?Apparently, Mr. Haag is really good at Call of Duty. That’s a video game. I’ve never played it, but I know that lots of people do play it. However, if I can make a million dollars playing it, then maybe I need to start.He’s been a professional for seven years. He just joined Major League Gaming—which, again, I didn’t know was a thing—and signed a sponsorship deal with Red Bull, the energy drink. Most of the people Red Bull sponsors are extreme sport fellows. Despite not being extreme, Mr. Haag gets the same treatment as Red Bull athletes, which includes help with training, diet, and financial support.However, Mr. Professional Game-Playing Millionaire makes most of his money from YouTube videos and from a site in which people watch him play live.So this guy makes money playing video games because other people are interested in watching him play video games.I have some experience with this. My two sons—ages eight and ten—are always watching YouTube videos of people playing video games. Their main interest is in Minecraft, and they’re fans of one guy in particular, a British dude whose YouTube name is Stampylongnose.Despite my endless pleas for them to actually play the game instead of watch videos of someone else playing the game, I still hear the familiar shrill, accented voice coming from the basement, talking about things that I don’t really understand.I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that people are interested in watching others play video games. The Bravo television network has a show called The People’s Couch, which shows regular people on their couch watching Bravo television shows.How much longer until some television executive actually takes a chance on a show in which people do nothing but watch paint dry, or grass grow? It can’t be long!Anyway, experiencing my sons’ interest in this British Minecraft guy, I see how the video game guy can make a million bucks. My sons have conversations at the breakfast table about whether the Minecraft guy is awake yet, or how old he is, or whether he’s married, or when he'll post a new video. If I’d let them, they would eat cake every single day, just like he claims to.When I was their age I was a fan of Hulk Hogan, and Ryne Sandberg, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Their hero is some dude with a weird screen name who records himself playing a video game.My son just peeked over my shoulder and asked, “What are you writing about dad?” Against my better judgment I told him that I was writing about a guy who makes a million dollars a year playing video games.As if he needed any more incentive to play video games.The house rule at the Baker homestead is no video games during the week. This makes for some very late Friday nights when the boys stay up late to take advantage of the weekend. Frequently, if we didn’t make them do something else, they’d play video games all weekend. Sometimes I feel bad about that, but sometimes it’s a saving grace if my wife and I have things we need to get done.Perhaps I shouldn’t worry about them playing video games. Maybe they’re not just playing; maybe they’re training.As my three-year-old daughter likes to say: That’s crazy town!+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Maybe I'll post a video of me writing. Wouldn't that be exciting? If I do you'll find it on my Facebook page page: Brett Baker Writes. Like it, please.

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Why Winter Sucks

Sometimes I’m here to entertain. Sometimes I’m here to annoy. Sometimes I’m here to make you think. And sometimes, like today, I’m just here to inform. So in case you forgot, I’d like to remind you that winter is on its way.Here are some of the things you have to look forward to:--Your car being covered in frost in the morning, and then freezing on your way to work.--Coming home from work in the dark.--Black ice.--Shoveling.--Shoveling again after the snow resumes.--Shoveling a third time because the weatherman was wrong when he estimated the ending time of the snow.--Wind so cold against your cheeks that it begins to feel hot.--Having to walk with your head tilted to the side because snow is blowing in your face.--Your gas bill.--Remembering how slippery that metal threshold at your front door becomes when it’s covered with powdery snow.--Remembering how hard your concrete steps are when you fall on your butt.--Television newscasts whose storm coverage consists of one reporter on a road over an expressway, followed by the same reporter’s interviews with drivers at a gas station, another report who interviews passengers stranded at the airport, a shot of the departure screen filled with “Canceled” and the meteorologist trying to explain the difference between a Winter Weather Advisory and a Winter Weather Watch.--Ice clinging to your windshield wipers.--Removing ice from your windshield wipers, and still not having a clear windshield because apparently there’s some microscopic piece of ice still attached to the blade that’s keeping it from making smooth contact with the windshield.--Clearing your driveway, and then having the snowplow bury the bottom again.--Forgetting your gloves at home.--Dry, cracking hands that begin to bleed if you happen forget to lotion them before you go to work.--Fishtailing.--That annoying person at work who will chuckle and then ask, “Cold enough for ya?”--Entire weeks without seeing the sun.--Days where you see the sun and blue sky, and for a second you forget that it’s the middle of winter and twenty degrees below zero and you get excited.--The disappointment when you remember.--Numbness in your toes because two pairs of socks aren’t enough.--Slush.--Huge chunks of ice behind the wheel wells of your car that won’t dislodge without standing next to your car and kicking them off, during which you’ll inevitably hit your shin and bruise your toes or heel.--Stiff fingers.--Stepping on the wet floor in your socks near the front door after someone tracks snow into the house.--Running out of windshield washer fluid.--Frozen locks.--Hitting that raised section of the sidewalk as you’re shoveling, and the handle of the shovel stabbing you in the stomach.--Cold floor tiles.--Snow plows waking you in the middle of the night.--Lake effect snow.--Wind chill factors.--Thinking that thirty-five degrees doesn’t feel all that cold.--C-O-L-DI don’t want to be too much of a downer, so I’ll stop there. You probably get the point anyway. Winter’s coming. It’s going to suck. But to quote a Pearl Jam song, “no matter how cold the winter, there’s a springtime ahead.”And despite my pessimism, not every single second of winter is going to suck. There will be moments like this:+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++The perfect cure for the winter doldrums? My Facebook page: Brett Baker Writes. Like it, please.

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A Standing Desk Might Save your Life

Twenty-five years ago Michael Stipe wrote the lyrics to a song called “Stand” that appeared on R.E.M.’s Green album. He intentionally wrote very inane lyrics to the song, but it turns out he was ahead of his time with the line "stand in the place where you work."And it’s not just a trendy thing to do to show that you’re cool. It might actually save your life.There are a growing number of studies that show that sitting in a chair all day just isn’t good for the human body. Our bodies aren’t designed to be sedentary. We can reduce our risk of all sorts of health problems like diabetes, cancer, obesity, and heart disease by following Theodore Roosevelt’s approach to life: “Get action!”Of course most of us have a job to do during the day, so we can’t go hike in the mountains, or wrestle alligators, or ride a bicycle. But we can stand.I have a standing desk at work. That doesn’t mean the desk stands. It means that I stand. I used to sit. But then when I read about these studies and did a little research, I decided that maybe I shouldn’t sit so much. I like my life. I’d like to prolong it.And before you say, “Well I don’t have to worry about sitting too much, because I go to the gym every night and run sixty-four miles and lift thirty-two thousand pounds,” there’s something you should know. Sitting for more than six hours per day does damage to your body that can’t be undone by exercise!It seems crazy, I know. I didn’t believe it either, until I read one doctor compare it to assuming that jogging after work would make up for the pack of cigarettes you smoked at work.Luckily, around the same time that I first began hearing about the detrimental effects of sitting, I was moving into a new office at work. When my boss asked me if I wanted a new desk, I said “Sure!” and ordered one of those fancy standing desks. (I don’t like to shill for companies, but I got a GeekDesk and it’s awesome!)For the first three or four weeks of the great standing experiment, I thought, “Good lord, what have I done?” My feet hurt, my back hurt, my hips hurt.I felt like someone who’d been standing all day!The human body is remarkable though. After a few weeks I adapted. The soreness in my back and hips went away, and after I purchased a soft, sturdy fatigue mat to stand on, my feet no longer hurt.I’ve been standing for almost a year-and-a-half now, and all is well. According to a 2013 study, standing instead of sitting burns an extra 50 calories per hour. That doesn’t sound like much, but I stand for seven hours a day. That’s 350 calories, which works out to about 20 pounds per year!That might sound like a lot, and I’d bet it’s probably an overestimation, but even if it’s one-half or one-quarter of that amount, it’s worth it.I’ve noticed that standing allows me to move around much more than I used to. If I need a moment to think I’ll pace around my office instead of just sitting in a chair and staring off into space. I stretch. I walk to the window every hour or so just to look out and see what’s going on. It’s great.And if I didn’t get much sleep the night before, or if it’s just been a really long day, I can push a button and the desk moves down to regular height and I can sit in a chair.Standing while working isn’t a new phenomenon. Donald Rumsfeld does it. Dickens and Hemingway both stood while they wrote. Michael Dell who founded Dell Computers stands and works. So did Jefferson and Franklin.And while there’s no evidence supporting the health benefits, I’ve found that skipping down the hall at work helps add a little excitement to everyone’s otherwise uneventful day. So do cartwheels.But if you can’t skip or do cartwheels at work, at least try the standing desk. Your body will thank you.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++With all the extra energy you'll have from standing you can like my Facebook page: Brett Baker Writes. Like it, please.

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"I'll Cut A Bitch," and Other Things We Can't Say

The nicest person I’ve ever met is my wife when she’s ordering at a drive-thru. She’s normally a very friendly person, but when she’s at a drive-thru her friendliness kicks up a notch.I have a few different theories as to why this happens.First, since she spent a few years working at a McDonald’s in high school, she very likely remembers that certain human beings are jerks, and that all jerks seem to revel in displaying their jerkiness to employees of restaurant and retail establishments.Or maybe she’s just happy because she’s about to satisfy her daily craving for a fountain Diet Coke. (This will no doubt be the topic of an upcoming post. I used to think she was crazy when she talked about how much better fountain soft drinks are than canned soft drinks, but now I know that she’s right!)But I think the actual reason that she uses the I’m-so-friendly-my-voice-is-smiling voice is that she practices the same duplicity that affects us all. I’ve tried to come up with a snazzy name for it, but I’m stumped. It’s easy to explain though.It’s that phenomenon that allows me to answer a phone call at work in my friendliest, I-really-want-to-help-you voice, when really what I’m thinking is, “For the love of God, would you people stop calling me so I can get some damn work done!”Thanks to this fact of human nature, if my wife is in the drive-thru, craving just a nanosecond of silence while three kids are arguing in the back of the van, and our oldest daughter is complaining about something else, and then the car in front of her finally moves, she can yell a quick, “Be quiet or no one’s getting anything,” at the children, before smoothly transitioning into, “Hi! Can I please have a large Diet Coke…” without sounding like she’s ready to go all “fire in the hole” on the poor McDonald’s employee.This ability actually probably helps preserve our species. If we couldn’t say one thing while thinking another, many of us would have short lives.Self-preservation dictates our responses in a variety of situations:When I tell my kids to clean their room, they might say, “Okay,” and go upstairs as if they plan to start cleaning. But inside they’re thinking, “I don't have to clean. If I don't he's just going to yell and then come clean it himself. I wonder if there’s a new episode of Pokémon.”The lady behind the counter at Target might say, “Sure, no problem,” when a customer asks if she can return her child’s dress because it doesn’t fit, but really she’s thinking, “I can tell from the ice cream stain that your kid wore this. And I don’t care what our return policy is, you’re lying right now and trying to scam us out of some money because you’re too damn cheap to buy a dress that your kid’s only going to wear once.”A flight attendant can answer the fifth call from a passenger during a two-hour flight with a smile and a polite, “What can I get for you?” when really he’s thinking, “If I could open the doors on this plane I’d throw you out.”The high school math teacher can offer a kind, “That’s not quite right,” when a student forgets how to solve a simple math problem, when really she wants to say, “In your entire life, have you ever even opened a math book? Calculating the ounces your dealer sells you isn't the sort of high achievement we had in mind.”A college student can tell his mom that he’s spending Thanksgiving at his new girlfriend’s house, and his mother can say, “That’s fine. Your father and I send our love,” when really she’s thinking, “If that girl takes my son from me, I’ll cut a bitch. Into pieces. And bury them.”Your boss can propose a new set of policies that everyone must adhere to, and you can nod and say, “These sound like great ideas,” when really you’re thinking, “This guy’s lucky his dad started this company, because otherwise he'd be a homeless beggar. But he's such a jerk he'd have to cut off some fingers just to get some sympathy.”And when your husband tells you that he’s going to fix that leaky pipe in the bathroom, you can say, “Thanks for taking care of it,” instead of “Holy shit, how in the world did you manage to tear yourself away from watching football, eating Doritos and yelling at the TV long enough to actually do something?”So here’s to not saying what you’re thinking, and living a long, happy life!+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++You can tell me what you really think on my Facebook page: Brett Baker Writes. Like it, please.

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Target Black Friday On Thanksgiving is Soul Crushing and Stupid

The popular explanation for the term Black Friday is that retailers operate at a loss (in the red) all year, and then when the holiday shopping season begins on the day after Thanksgiving, they begin to profit (in the black).Like so many popular explanations though, it’s simply not true. The name actually came from the chaos and disruption that the Philadelphia Police Department experienced from so many people trying to shop the day after Thanksgiving.I don’t like that explanation either. I think the black in Black Friday actually refers to something much darker. Something ominous, threatening, distasteful, totally devoid of compassion, and obsessed with nothing but making a buck.Something like the soul of the people in charge at Target.In case you missed it, yesterday Target announced that their stores will open at 6:00 p.m. Thanksgiving evening.I wonder if Target sells calendars. I’m sure they do. They should take a look at the calendar and see that Thanksgiving is on a Thursday. How does a Black Friday promotion begin on Thursday?Whatever. Who cares about that? Let them confuse their days of the week.The real problem here is Target’s complete disregard for their employees and each employee’s privilege of spending a major holiday at home, with their family, without having to cut short their holiday in order to go to work.Thanksgiving used to be the one day every year where we sort of agreed to take a break from rampant materialism, commercialism and the endless accumulation of things. (Unless those things are turkeys, cranberries or sweet potatoes!) Everyone paused, ate, relaxed, spent time with family, and enjoyed the day. Sure the craziness began bright and early the next day, but we can’t expect people to put off accumulating things forever, can we?The writing’s been on the wall for a few years though. Everyone used to accept that Black Friday started at the ungodly hour of 5:00 a.m. Then some retail executives decided, “Why waste so much time? Let’s move that up to 3:00 a.m.?” And then midnight. And once you’re at midnight, it’s only a hop, skip and a jump back to infringing on Thanksgiving itself, right?How long until the shopping craziness moves back to midnight on Wednesday night, so shoppers can get their deals and then sit half-awake at the Thanksgiving dinner table? Not long I bet.Which all raises the logical question: why?What does Target gain by opening at 6:00 p.m. Thursday instead of 6:00 a.m. Friday? I wish I could sit-in on the discussion in the Target board room.Black-souled Executive #1: “We need to find ways to increase sales.”Black-souled Executive #2: “There simply aren’t enough hours in the year. We’re open about 5,082 hours per year, but we’re still not hitting our sales goals.”Black-souled Executive #1: “Where can we find more hours?”Black-souled Executive #2: “We could open at 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving. That would give us twelve more hours of sales.”Black-souled Executive #1: “Twelve more hours! You’re a genius. Let’s do it!”With executive decisions like that we can see why Target lost $148 million due to a data breach, and why they lost $1.4 billion in eighteen months in Canada, and why they recently announced they’re closing 11 more stores in the U.S.It’s easy to defend Target by saying, “Well, they’re in business to make money for their investors. The employees are paid for working. They shouldn’t complain.”Yes, the employees are paid for working. And yes, Target is in business to make money.But even the most inept executive knows that a business with good employee morale will operate better than a business with low employee morale. And that everyone needs a breather sometimes. And that a happy employee is more likely to stay on the job than a dissatisfied employee, which prevents the company from the expense of hiring and training a new employee.And those executives definitely know about labor costs. So not only do the Target employees lose a relaxing holiday evening with their families, they don’t end up earning as much as they’d planned since their six hour shift is cut to four hours when 10:00 p.m. arrives, all the sales are over, and Target doesn’t need so many employees.Of course the easy way to put an end to Thanksgiving shopping is for no one to go shopping on Thanksgiving. I’m a realist though. Even though I’ve never stood in line to wait for a store to open after Thanksgiving, I know a good deal on a big television is just too much for some people to pass up.I’m left with one lingering question though: I wonder if the executives who decided that Target would open on Thanksgiving are in the stores working on Thanksgiving or home with their families?+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++My Facebook page will also work Thanksgiving: Brett Baker Writes. Like it, please.

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