Four Year Olds Can Cut Their Own Hair, Right?

“Is that a wig under the table?” my wife asked.It’s sort of an unusual question, especially since we were in the kitchen and we don’t ordinarily keep our wigs under the kitchen table. Before I could come up with any logical explanation why a wig might be hiding out among the various food crumbs my messy-eater kids dispatched to the floor, my wife clarified her question.“Is that hair?”“What is she talking about?” I said to myself, but only to myself because my wife had a tone of voice that implied, “Things are not going to go well if you ask me a dumb question right now.”Luckily, my wife discovered the answer to that question as soon as she reached under the table and retrieved the ball of whatever. And before I could utter something moronic—like “Is it?”—she yelled for our four-year-old daughter.“Did you cut your hair?” Silence. “Answer me! Did you cut your hair?” Silence again, followed by the cutest stinking shrug of the shoulders I ever did see.This is the tipping point of every parental encounter where things are going to go one of two ways. Either my daughter is going to start wailing and be so overcome by tears and snot that we won’t be able to understand a word she says, or she’s going to be silent and a CIA interrogator couldn’t even waterboard an answer out of her.But before that, my wife—having used her Sherlock Holmes-like investigative abilities to figure out that she did cut her hair—asked her, “Why did you cut your hair?”Miraculously, neither of the previous two things happened. Instead, a third thing happened. My cute-as-a-button four year old daughter said something completely logical: “It was in the way, and I didn’t like it, so I cut it off.”But of course.If we weren’t careful here this young lass might just convince us that she’d done nothing wrong. Why were we questioning her logical, self-executed solution to a problem she encountered?My wife wasn’t swayed though. She sent our daughter to her room, and looked at the pile of hair she held in her hand in disbelief.“When did she do this?” my wife asked me. Oh crap! I was in charge for a couple of hours, and since my daughter had a full head of hair when my wife last saw her, it’s a reasonable question.Unfortunately, I had no answer.I tried to think back over the previous hour or two, and nothing stood out as the moment during which my daughter could have gone all Vidal Sassoon in the kitchen. It seemed like a question that I should be able to answer, but instead all I could muster was a pathetic, “I don’t know.”My wife had been on her way out the door before the Great Hair Discovery, so she left. A few minutes later, the phone rang.“It’s actually kinda funny,” she said when I answered. “She gave herself her first haircut. And her hair can’t be too bad since we didn’t even notice it.”I agreed. I thought it was funny, too, but I’m smart enough to let a few minutes pass before trying to point out the humor in a situation to an angry mom.My daughter has never had her hair cut. My wife has been asking her for more than a year if she wanted to go for a haircut. The answer had always been an emphatic “No!” Turns out, all she had to do was wait for a day when her hair was in the way.Now I think maybe it’s time to call Hair Cuttery and see if they’re hiring. I’ve got a four year old who appears to be a hair cutting expert. Might as well put her passion to good use and make her start earning her keep!Read how this all went down from my daughter's point-of-view here.+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.

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Forget French Toast Crunch, Bring Back Subway's U-Gouge

In case you missed it, there was huge news in the cereal world yesterday. And as an endlessly faithful reader of this blog, you know that I love cereal.However, the return of French Toast Crunch gets a big eye roll from me. Who cares? If you’re looking for a crunchy cereal that’s coated in cinnamon and will destroy the roof of your mouth if you’re not careful, you need look no further than Cinnamon Toast Crunch, which has always been available. They’re essentially the same cereal, except that French Toast Crunch has “syrup” in addition to its cinnamon.Oh, and the individual pieces are thicker, in case Cinnamon Toast Crunch doesn’t sufficiently scar the roof of your mouth as you eat it.And really, is Cinnamon Toast Crunch even different from Golden Grahams? General Mills is trying to pull one over on us, and I’m not falling for it, damnit!Talk to me when Post decides to give Fred Flintstone’s trusty pet his due respect and brings back Dino Pebbles!Reading about the nostalgia some people have toward French Toast Crunch did remind me of my own nostalgic longings for a particular food. Or put more accurately, a particular way of preparing food.I’m talking about the U-gouge.No, that’s not some fancy new iPhone app that teaches you how to effectively poke someone in the eye. It’s the way that Subway used to cut their bread.What’s that you say? You didn’t know that Subway changed the way they cut their bread? Oh, my poor, dear, non-bread-obsessed reader. Let me explain.Back when the first Subway sandwich shop hit my hometown—maybe twenty years or so ago (all their napkins still had “5,000 stores by 1994” still printed on them, and today they have 43,000 stores)—I immediately went nuts for it. Back then the Cold Cut Combo was my sandwich of choice. Since then my preferences have changed to the Sub Club, then to turkey, and now to the perfect Veggie Delite.Part of the allure of Subway is the bread. It’s soft, flavorful, and fresh, and I’d eat an entire loaf of Italian Herb and Cheese every day if I could. However, 500 of the 650 calories of my Veggie Delite come from the bread, so I probably shouldn’t.Anyway, part of Subway’s genius was in the way they cut their bread. If you don’t want to click on that link then I’ll explain. The U-gouge required the sandwich artist to begin at one end of the bread, carefully glide the knife along the top of the loaf to the other end, then follow a U shape along the end of the bread, and cut back along the top, to the other end, where a final U-shaped cut brought the knife back to where it began.This ingenious cut served two functions. First, it provided a sort of channel for all of the ingredients to rest in. So when you put down the cheese and the meat and the veggies none of the goodness slipped out of the bread. Second, it created a narrower top piece of bread that rested on top of the ingredients and somehow seemed to taste even better than the rest of the loaf.And then, sometime around 2001, they went and ruined it.Now they use the boring hinge cut. This is the basic cut that any yahoo making a sandwich in a long loaf of bread would use. It’s the way hot dog buns are cut, except maybe with the bread distributed more evenly between the top and the bottom.It lacks imagination, but more importantly, it allows ingredients to fall out during consumption. And even though I make sure not to throw the wrapper away without first gobbling every last bit of produce that might have fallen out of the wrapper, I don’t think every sandwich eater is as voracious as me, which means a bunch of food is being thrown away simply because it fell out of the sandwich.Shortly after they did away with the U-gouge, some sandwich artists could still pull off the difficult cut, or so I hear. I never actually asked. But now most of the people who are making my sandwiches were two years old when Subway dissed the U-gouge, so they probably don’t have any idea how to do it effectively.That actually might have been part of the U-gouge’s downfall. If done incorrectly, the cut can leave a gargantuan bottom piece, a string-like top piece, and a gouge much too small to fit the cornucopia of delicious ingredients.But still, that calls for sandwich artists with better knife skills, not getting rid of the U-gouge all together.Oh well, I’m sure my objections will fall on deaf ears. Subway has probably forgotten all about the U-gouge. And the change hasn’t decreased the frequency of my Subway patronage, so I guess they have no reason to listen to me.However, if you are listening, Subway, it’s time to do away with the ovens. A toasted Subway sandwich is an abomination!PREVIOUS POST: Pantone Chose Marsala as the Color of the Year, so I made Other ChoicesIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: How did I Become a Beer Snob?+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts baked up fresh by me here. 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Pantone Chose Marsala as Color of the Year, So I Made Other Choices

In case you missed the news, Pantone has chosen Marsala as the color of the year for 2015. Their industry is color, so I suppose they’re as qualified as anyone to choose a color of the year.So next year expect to see Marsala used in all sorts of different designs, like clothing, appliances, and linens. But a color of the year has to go big or go home, so we’ll also see Marsala used in fox masks, ties and aprons of well-dressed men who just brought in the groceries, the shirt of his younger brother who just interrupted his kitchen seduction, and the wine and dessert enjoyed by two ladies as they tailor some expensive Marsala-tinted fabric.And all this time I thought marsala only paired nicely with chicken and veal.But no, now Marsala is ready to open up to a whole new world, and I’m ready to take it on. This should come as no surprise to those of you who know me. I mean, I’m nothing if not on the cutting edge of design and fashion.While I’m looking forward to the Year of Marsala, I figure, why stop there? A color of the year is fun, but there’s more to life than just color. (Notice I didn’t say that there’s more to life than just marsala. That was a conscious choice since that might imply that there’s more to life than wine and food, and I’m not quite sure that’s right!)Before we get started, let’s enjoy marsala. Here’s what the Shedd Aquarium and my son will look like when they’re both converted to the Color of the Year.No wonder Pantone chose it!Anyway, back to other _____ of the Year choices.Smell: The smell of the year is Marijuana, without a doubt. No public policy issue had a better 2014 than marijuana, and there’s no end in sight to its good fortunate. (Note: Gay marriage might have had a better year, but as far as I know neither gays nor marriage have a distinct smell, so they lose out here.)So in 2015, whenever you’re at a rock concert, Colorado, or Snoop Dogg’s house, just take pleasure in knowing that you’re experiencing the smell of the year.Sound: The sound of the year is Peanuts Adults. You know what I mean. Charlie Brown’s teacher for example. If written it would sound like, “Wah, wah, wah-wah, wah, wah-wah-wah.” Or something.That sound is not only Peanuts Adults, but it’s also the sound that people in outer space hear coming from Earth. It’s the sound of politicians who can’t solve problems, it’s reality television stars whom bathe in self-importance, it’s protests that fall on deaf ears, it’s the sound of inaction.To some it might even be the sound of a guy who writes a blog with a non-sensical name who thinks he’s much wittier than he is.Taste: The taste of the year is Bitter. A wine can have the color of the year. I don’t know many people who buy wine for the color. Beer is taking the taste of the year, and that taste is Bitter. I’ve already talked about my beer snobbery, and its correlation with bitterness, and I'm not alone in my fondness for beer. (Click on that link. It's interesting.)Of course, beer isn’t alone in its bitterness either. Endive’s bitter and it’s one of the tastiest lettuces. Dark chocolate’s bitter and I love dark chocolate. I really love dark chocolate. If I were made from stereotypes, I’d be the woman who chooses chocolate over my husband in some dumb survey.Just so we’re clear, I’m not a woman. I was just making a point.Sensation: The sensation of the year is Warmth. I know there are many sensations, but I was just thinking of Warmth in air temperature as opposed to cold, and I choose Warmth. If you don’t choose Warmth, you’re wrong. And just for future reference, Warmth will be the sensation of the year for 2016, 2017, 2018. In fact, it’ll get the nod for the forseeable future.Meat: The meat of the year is Pork. I don’t eat much meat, but along with the turkey on Thanksgiving we had some ham, and it was delicious. I’m looking forward to cooking another one for Christmas. I don’t subscribe to the "Bacon is God" belief system, but that Thanksgiving ham was good.Sorry Wilbur.But the main reason I chose Pork was to frustrate those trendy people who hoped to plan dinner parties and serve chicken or veal marsala, in the hopes that someone will remark, “Marsala’s the color of the year, you know.” Well now if they do it they’re going to have to commit a faux pas and serve a meat that isn’t the meat of the year.How uncouth!PREVIOUS POST: Ruin Christmas and Get a Lump of Coal...Shoved Down your ThroatIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: What I Learned from HGTV+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.

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Ruin Christmas and Get a Lump of Coal . . . Shoved Down your Throat

Since you and I are both adults . . . what’s that you say? You’re a kid? Well stop reading right now please. This one’s not for you. Head on over to PBS, Minecraft or watch this horrible video that shows what happens when people think Chucky is after them.Okay, now that the kids are gone, let’s talk. I’m going to cover a particular topic, and I’m not going to mention what it is, but you know what it is. You’re wicked smart so you don’t need everything spelled out for you, right?Of my four kids, three of them still appreciate one particular aspect of this time of year. Although two of them are on the verge, I think, they both still appreciate. In fact, I think my older son might actually lack appreciation, but I don’t think he’ll say anything about it. I think part of the appreciation for him is sharing it with his siblings, and also seeing how much fun my wife and I have in making sure we enforce their appreciation.As we grow up there are many life lessons that we must learn, and some of them are difficult. They all come in due time, but this particular appreciation is something I think children ought to hold on to for as long as possible. Sure, that might cause them problems at some point when their unappreciative friends try to tell them what’s up, but I think the greater and longer the appreciation, the better.Unfortunately, many people disagree with me. I understand we all have our own opinions on this. And I don’t intend to try to tell other parents how to raise their children.Oh screw it, let your kids appreciate! Who’s it hurting? Not them.Well actually, it might hurt them, depending on when the appreciation dissolves. Kids will obviously begin to ask questions, analyze, and come to their own conclusions, and that’s good. That’s probably a sign that they’re not going to be too upset.However, if some childhood-hating adult, or know-it-all kid ruins my child’s appreciation prematurely, then for Christmas they’re going to get a lump of coal . . . shoved down their throat!There’s nothing more infuriating to me than when we’re watching something on television and out of the blue a character says something questioning appreciation. Are filmmakers really that stupid?The most egregious example of this is Gremlins. It’s not a kids movie, I suppose, but it is a movie that kids will watch. I mean who can resist Gizmo? It’s scary, but not cut-off-your-head scary. In fact, it’s one of the films that caused the PG-13 rating to be implemented for films that are too heavy to be PG, but too light to be R.Anyway, there’s a scene in the film where Phoebe Cates has a monologue in which she talks about why she doesn’t like Christmas. She tells this bizarre story about her father dressing up as a certain somebody on a certain night and falling down a smokestack and breaking his neck. Fine. Morbid, but fine. Then she punctuates it with, “And that’s how I found out (blah, blah, blah).”Who in the hell thought that was a good idea? At least Roger Ebert had the foresight to include a warning in his review.And the film Big Fish is even worse, with a two-for-one ruining. One moment a son is having a touching conversation with his father, the next, the son utters a sentence with a setup that had me diving for my remote control, but a moment too late.There needs to be some universal warning system for films and anything on television before they do something like that. Maybe the entire screen can go red for a split second ten seconds before the offending passage.Or better yet, I think we need a new term to discuss the whole concept. Hopefully you understand what I’m talking about, but shouldn’t we have invented some word that only adults know so that we can talk about this without sounding like we’re in the CIA or something?By the way, if you don’t want your kids to partake in appreciation, then that’s fine. But in addition to teaching them “the truth,” you better also teach them “omerta,” which is the mafia’s code of silence. Having a blabtastic kid is a great way to have your kid blackballed from kid events by parents who don’t want their own child’s appreciation ruined.So watch yourself. I’d hate for you to be singing “All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth.”PREVIOUS POST: I'm Thankful for Thanksgiving only Coming Once a YearIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: I Suck at Christmas Shopping, But my Wife Doesn't+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.

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Search Terms People Have Used to Find my Blog; a.k.a. My Readers are Crazy

This blog is pretty neat. I mean I just think about something, write it down, click a few times, and then some people all around the world can read what I wrote. Thanks Internet!And thanks to this big fancy technology company called Google (you might have heard of them), I can see all sorts of information about the people who read the blog.Now, before you start worrying that I’m some NSA lackey who’s going to violate your privacy, let me say that all of the information is anonymous. It’s just data and I don’t have information that I can match to you.So I can see that someone from Dallas, Texas accessed my blog, but there are a lot of people in Dallas, and I don’t know which one of them stopped by Dry it in the Water. I can’t tell what else you look at on your computer, only that you were on my page at some point. But I can tell if you found the blog through Facebook, or Twitter, or a direct link, or, my favorite, a Google search.Besides looking at the sheer number of people who read the blog, and the various cities and countries from where those people read it, the most interesting information contained in the reports available to me are Google search terms.You would not believe some of the search terms people use to find my blog!Some search terms are obviously based on things that I’ve written, but other terms are completely surprising to me.Right now the most popular search term that brings people to my blog is “stampylongnose.” This is the name of a YouTube user who posts videos of him playing Minecraft. I mentioned him in a post about video games a couple of weeks ago. Other names that have led people here: Squanto, Dick Cavett, Scott Conant, pilgrims, Stephen Stills, and yes, even the biggest search term in the world, Taylor Swift.She’s a whole separate category of search terms. I’ve only mentioned her once, I think, in a post I did about her new record. But people have found my post using the following terms combined with her name: “1989 review,” “boys and boys and girls and girls,” “polaroids 1989,” “appropriate for ten year old,” and, of course, “is a skank.”I wrote a post about 9/11 and the variety of search terms related to it were very interesting. “What does never forget mean?” “Why shouldn’t we forget 9/11?” “What happened on 9/11?” “Will we always remember 9/11?” “Why are people saying never forget?”Those searches are a reminder to me that pretty much anyone younger than college-age right now, probably doesn’t remember 9/11 happening. So although it’s fresh in our minds for many of us, there’s a large percentage of the population who don’t have that same visceral reaction.Other search terms are actually quite touching or sad if you try to think of the situation causing people to search for them. “Do I have to grow up?” “What is good about growing up?” “How to make kids think you are a Disney princess.” “Tears dry on their own.” “My life gas tank is empty.”Some search terms are just screwy: “man jeans to wear,” “male full body shave Chicago,” “idiotic warning from a friend to another friend,” and “water is black Friday” are all search terms that have left me scratching my head.And, of course, since it is the Internet, there have been a number of provocative search terms that somehow lead people to the blog. If you happen to search for “2015 thong bikinis” you might end up at Dry it in the Water. Same with the intimidating sounding “things I could do to a bitch” and also, “miss America 2015 biggest tits.”Classy, eh?I’m not quite sure how Google searches work, since I’m positive that the paragraph above is the first time I’ve used the word “tits” in the blog.I hope the people who have entered such search terms have been as entertained by my blog as I have been by their searches. I’ve really enjoyed these little insights into the minds of some people on the other side of the screen.And by the way, I’ve intentionally left out some of the more risqué and extreme search terms. Some of them made my wife blush, and nothing makes my wife blush!So feel free to use your imagination to fill in those blanks.PREVIOUS POST: Sorry, But Most People Don't Care about Your Bumper StickerIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: A Man's Miss America Recap+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.

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Sorry, But Most People Don't Care about Your Bumper Sticker

The good thing about sitting in traffic—perhaps the only good thing unless huffing exhaust fumes is your thing—is that it provides an opportunity to read bumper stickers on other cars. These stickers can tell us a lot about the people who are driving the car.Most prevalent these days are the My kid is an honor student type of sticker. As a father, I understand why parents want to put these on their car. Your kid’s smart, you’re proud of them, I get it. If it makes your kid smile to know that you’re telling the whole world—or at least the people behind you at the red light—about their accomplishments, then I’m all for it.However, there’s one thing you should know: the only people who care about your kid being on the honor roll are the people inside your car. The rest of us don’t know your kid, so while we’re happy that at least there’s not going to be one more idiot in the world, we don’t feel much pride for your particular kid.The other stickers I see quite often, which are growing in popularity and might actually overtake the honor roll sticker soon, are the stick figure family stickers. I guess they depict all the people in that family. A big sticker for dad, a smaller, but still big, sticker for mom, and then cute little boy or girl stickers for each of the kids. And, of course, if there are pets in the family they have their own sticker.I’m not quite sure the point of this. Lately those stickers have been getting fancy and relay the apparent interests of the family, like having all members dressed in Star Wars garb, or not even as people, but rather just beach sandals. At least that way they’re telling us something about themselves in addition to the fact that they exist.My ridicule of both the honor student and stick figure stickers extends only as far as this blog though. I don’t get so worked up that I have to put stickers of my own on the back of my car to counteract the stickers those people have.So you won’t see the sticker that shows a dinosaur eating a stick figure family on my car. And I’ve got news for the people with the cutesy My dog is smarter than your honor student sticker. No he’s not. True, my kid might not find a cure for cancer, but I’ve also never seen him spin around for ten minutes trying to catch his own butt.Some bumper stickers tell us more about a person than the person intended.For instance, if I see a sticker that says anything related to princess, and the car’s being driven by a grown woman, I automatically think the woman is probably an entitled pain in the ass.If I see a dude driving a car with some macho phrase, I automatically think he’s a pinhead who’s overcompensating for something.The absolute most ridiculous thing on the back of a car actually has nothing to do with bumper stickers though. Instead it’s those brass testicles that some guys hang from the tow hitch on their trucks. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, look here.Revolting.However, it does tell me everything I need to know about that person; mainly that my life will be much better if I stay away from them.Political stickers are interesting, too. I used to have a bumper sticker that said Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft: the real axis of evil. This was back in the days where some argued that questioning the president’s actions in any way was being unpatriotic. I’m sure my bumper sticker had a profound influence on what people thought, like, “That guy’s such a wimpy, liberal idiot!”It made me feel better though!We live in a golden age of political stickers since many politicians today establish their entire careers by endlessly repeating mantras short enough to fit on bumper stickers.My favorite bumper stickers though are the ones that show where people have traveled. For some reason I’ve always thought it was neat to know the person in front of me went to Grand Teton National Park, or the French Quarter, or New York City, or Ron Jon Surf Shop or whatever.No word on whether their honor student planned the trip for them.PREVIOUS POST: Some Things Cooler than Black FridayIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Why Maps are Better than GPS+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.

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Some Black Things Cooler than Black Friday

Hey, it’s Black Friday! What the heck are you doing reading this blog post instead of frantically searching the store for that huge discount on a television that’s too big for your living room? Step back from the computer and race to the store. Now!Unless you’re already in the store and you’re reading this on your phone as you wait in a line that extends the length of the store and then across the back aisle and halfway to the front again. In that case, check out some of my other posts.Whatever the case, I hope you’re enjoying your Black Friday. If you’re looking for a deal, I hope you find one. I’m just looking for a low-key day at home, and I’ve found it, so I’m happy.In thinking about Black Friday I realized that part of the appeal it holds for people is just the adventure and tradition of it. That’s probably even better than the deals for some people.But for the other Black Friday Buzz Kills like me, I’ve compiled a short list of other black things cooler than Black Friday.--Black chicken. I first saw this troubling animal on an episode of Chopped. It’s exactly what it sounds like. If I hadn’t seen professional chefs cooking with it, I would have thought it was a diseased chicken just by looking at it. I was wrong though. It’s not diseased.In fact, black chickens are among the most laid-back of all poultry. That’s great for them if a kid’s looking for a pet, because the black chicken is a good choice. It’s bad for them if someone’s looking for an easy animal to capture and eat though, because they’re a good choice for that, too.Sorry black chicken.--Blaxploitation films. Okay, so the word black isn’t actually in this entry, but that’s just because someone got all cutesy with the name back in the seventies. I don’t think there’s any other film genre—noir, maybe—whose designation automatically makes me think “cool” when I hear it mentioned.Shaft, Blacula, Blackenstein, The Black Godfather, Foxy Brown and Dolemite. My goodness, I think I’ve become cooler just by typing the titles of those films. Hang on while I update my IMDB watchlist…--Chicago Black Sox. Any time some smug White Sox fan likes to rub it in that the Cubs haven’t won the World Series since 1908, while the White Sox just won the World Series in 2005, I like to bring up the Black Sox, who intentionally lost the World Series in 1919.Because nothing masks the desperation many Cubs fans feel better than bringing up the exploits of a team from 95 years ago.--The Man in Black, Johnny Cash. If Blaxploitation films don’t make me feel cool enough, Johnny Cash picks up the slack. As if his own songs from the fifties, sixties and seventies weren’t badass enough, he finished his career doing covers of songs like "I Won’t Back Down", "Hurt", "I Hung my Head", and "In My Life" in such rich, unique ways that I like some of them better than the original way they were done.--Black lights. I’ve never had a black light. Probably because I don’t smoke pot or drop acid. But they’ve always seemed cool to me. They do give me a headache if I think about them too long though. I mean black light. How can something black have light? That’s an oxymoron. Best not to think about it too much, I guess.--Black skies. This is a little bit odd, because anywhere that there are really black skies—meaning dark skies—the skies aren’t black, but rather filled with thousands of stars.I go to a particular country road between two fields in rural Indiana to watch meteor showers a couple of times per year. There’s no light pollution, and if there are no clouds, the sky is amazing. The first time I went out there I was by myself and I parked on a deserted road, got out of my car, looked up at the sky, and for a brief moment actually felt a little bit afraid because of all of the stars. It was like I was in space all by myself.Weird, I know, but find yourself some dark skies and you’ll know what I’m talking about.So Happy Black Friday to you. And just a reminder, only 27 days until Christmas.PREVIOUS POST: These Things Happened on ThanksgivingIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Target Black Friday On Thanksgiving is Soul Crushing and Stupid+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.

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These Things Happened on Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! If you’re taking time away from your family and friends to read this, then I demand you walk away and go spend time with loved ones. I don’t have anything interesting to say anyway.In fact, if I wasn’t trying to post every single day for this dumb National Blog Posting Month, I wouldn’t be writing anything today. But I am, so I am.Anyway, Thanksgiving is well-known for turkey, football, family, and now, unfortunately, shopping. Here are just a few of the interesting things from Thanksgivings past:--1621: Hearty Pilgrims and cool-ass Indians gather for the first Thanksgiving. Later they watch as Lions beat the Bears by three touchdowns. Not really. I just made that up. The Bears won, not the Lions, but I didn't think you'd believe me that it happened if I said the Bears won.--1863: President Abraham Lincoln, through unilateral executive action (the horror!), proclaims the last Thursday in November to be Thanksgiving.--1920: The department store Gimbels is the first department store to launch a Thanksgiving Day parade. Four years later, Macy’s will follow suit. Although Macy’s is still around, Gimbels went out of business in 1986. The parade still exists, but now it’s called the Dunkin’ Donuts Parade.--1939: President Franklin Roosevelt causes a Thanksgiving crisis when he announces in August of that year that Thanksgiving will be the fourth Thursday in November, instead of the fifth (last) Thursday. Angry Republicans charge FDR as being disrespectful toward Lincoln’s memory.The country overall is torn though as the Thanksgiving observance issue crosses party lines. Twenty-three states choose to celebrate Thanksgiving according to the old tradition, and twenty-two states choose to celebrate according to FDR’s decree. Texas, Mississippi and Colorado decide to celebrate both days!--1965: Arlo Guthrie is arrested in Stockbridge, Georgia for littering. The events that followed inspire him to write Alice’s Restaurant, an eighteen-minute song protesting the Vietnam War that many radio stations play as a Thanksgiving tradition.--Every year ever: Uncle Bob eats too much at Thanksgiving dinner, then settles into a recliner, loosens his belt, and exclaims, “I’m as stuffed as a Thanksgiving turkey.”That's all for today, because Thanksgiving isn't about reading or writing blogs. It's about spending time with your family.Happy Thanksgiving!PREVIOUS POST: It's Thanksgiving, Not Turkey DayIF YOU LIKED THIS POST I BET YOU'LL ALSO LIKE: Turkey Facts to Amaze Your Guests+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Hey, did you like reading this? If so, you should Share it on Facebook so you can bring joy to others. You can also find tons of other posts by me here. And you can like my Facebook page, Brett Baker Writes. Please.

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